Imagine the ability to wake up each day and do whatever your heart desires. That fantasy is one I think everyone, the whole world over, dreams about. It's something I too have dreamed about, but last year, I made that dream a reality. Even if the fantasy was short lived, for eight glorious months, my time was entirely my own; and that taste of freedom has completely changed the way I view my future. Now that I have returned to the workforce, I would like to share with you some of the benefits and drawbacks of unpaid leave, as well as a few deeper reflections. 

As a disclaimer before we dive into the details, I would like to admit my privilege in being able to take this much time off. I am a Black woman from a lower middle class family, but I worked as a Software Engineer before quitting my previous job. My compensation level and the investment decisions I have made in the last five years have allowed me to be able to live without a paycheck for an extended period of time.

Time to Reflect

For people with full time jobs, the majority of our lives are spent working. We get barely a few hours during the week, and some time over the weekend to ourselves; but even that time is spent doing chores or catching up on rest before having to return to work. Rarely do we have time to just sit and reflect. This lack of reflection time led to me being out of touch with my own true desires. I have always been known as a person that knows what she wants, but when I took time to pause and reflect, I found that I didn’t actually want the things I thought I did. For example, I always thought I wanted to be as wealthy as possible to allow myself to buy houses, yachts, fancy cars, etc. But in reality, what I really wanted was to be in control of my time and to be able to prioritize the things that energize me.

Time to Tend to Me

If you have ever taken a week or two of PTO, you likely can attest to the fact that it takes at least a week of PTO to start to forget about work. I found my extended time off to be the first time since childhood where I truly felt like I didn’t have a care in the world. My basic needs were met and my main priority every day was to find ways to pour into myself. Some days that looked like binge watching shows, other days that looked like going on a hike or showing myself around the city like a tourist. Sometimes I threw myself into researching stock investments or tinkering with tech projects. I did whatever brought me joy in that moment. I found that experience to be such a beautiful gift to be able to give myself, and one that most adults never get the chance to have.

Leaning Into My Passions

The last extended leave benefit I would like to mention is having more time to dedicate to my passion projects. For instance, I love whiskey. I have an Instagram and YouTube page dedicated to sharing my love for and knowledge of whiskey, but I wasn’t able to give this passion as much attention as I would have liked to while having a full time job. So when the full time job went away, I threw myself into broadening and strengthening my whiskey world. I flew west to hunt down bottles I couldn’t find on the east coast. I visited distilleries and made connections. I learned more about the spirit as a whole, and I had time to make strategic moves that I believe will pay off for me down the line. Taking the time to invest in myself first, as opposed to giving my passions whatever energy I had left after the workday felt absolutely amazing; and I'll be doing everything I can to eventually make that my every day normal.

Things to be Mindful of

With the good, often comes some bad. So let's briefly touch on my two biggest time off struggles. The first is Healthcare. Without an employer providing insurance, health insurance is incredibly expensive. So you either have to budget for that, choose to go without insurance, or join your partner's insurance (if that is an option). Secondly, if you choose to take time off without your next job lined up, it can be difficult to decide when you should start interviewing. When I interview, my goal is to receive multiple job offers at the same time. This allows me to have more negotiating power with companies, but since each company has its own interview timeline, keeping the interviews on the same timeline occasionally felt like herding cats. 

Deeper reflections

When I told my family and friends that I had quit my job, many of them were taken aback. Some questioned if I could afford to take that amount of time off; some questioned why I needed to take time off; and some agreed that I needed rest, just not that much of it (haha). My initial reaction to their responses was mild annoyance. I felt like this was such an exciting and promising moment in my life and they were tainting it. But after a bit of reflection, something hit me. The idea of resting is still a foreign concept to many people, especially Black people; and even more so in my parents' and grandparents' age group. Because of the traumatic history of Black people in this country, many of us feel like we’re behind (and often are). As a result,  we're taught to use every moment of our time productively, and to view rest as something to indulge in once you’ve accomplished most of your goals. So when I told those closest to me that I was going to rest for an extended period of time, they were so overwhelmed by the thought of what I could lose, that they were initially incapable of imagining everything I could gain.

In closing

We often hear the phrase "Life is too short", but the phrase doesn't always resonate with us as deeply as it should. For example, while I believe that you should plan for retirement as if you'll live a long and fruitful life, I know several people that deferred enjoying themselves in the hopes of splurging once they retire, only to die before or shortly after retiring. This is especially a risk for Black people who have the shortest life expectancy rates. So I wholeheartedly believe in grabbing these moments of rest, reflection, and relaxation whenever you can. Big or small, I challenge you to find time to live life exactly how you'd like to. Even if only for a while.

Edited by the amazing Alayna Christian